To the team at Paradox Interactive,

😀

Thank you, Daniel Grigorov, for allowing me to pitch my game to you. At Gaming Genius, we're a huge fan of tabletop strategy games, and want to bring the medium into a 4X, 3D, video-game form. I am a big fan of your games. I came to you because I think my game will fit. I have a great deal of familiarity with the products put out by Paradox Interactive. We believe that Arkadia Online will fit into the "box" that other games your company has made have fallen into - this game is a punchy product that pops. Our LLC has a fantastic idea to bring to the table. Starting over a decade ago in 2013, Arkadia Droid Online has been in development both as an idea, and as a playable proof of concept demo form called Droid Online Lite. We design games, not worlds. I'll cut to the chase - Arkadia Droid Online Lite is a shoot-em-up MMORPG hybrid top-down strategy game that'll rock your socks off. We're requesting about $5,000 starting capital to develop our game, and a direct line of consultation with the bright minds at Paradox Interactive.

I've tried my best to think of a few fine examples of the features present in Arkadia Droid. Something that's really important to us is equality. We espouse values that aren't common in the gaming industry - and they are just as synonymous with our projects as the great storywriting work contributed by our head writer Don Eidelman who previously worked at Nexon, specifically on the unfinished Combat Arms 2 project.

But let's get to brass tacks. This project has been contributed to the Github cryo-storage facility for its status as a niche culture icon - Arkadia Droid will add unprecedented value to your company. Premium features include rich character creation, packed with our patented "decimal slider", allowing the player to finetune the various details present in their character's appearance. On character creation, I wouldn't leave anything unsaid about Custom Genders - if the player feels uncomfortable with any of the predefined Hijra-type or Polar-Locked gender archetypes, there are 30 additional Custom Gender slots available to be mixed & matched. There's no better way of delivering diversity to the player than putting the tools in their fingertips to be whatever their hearts desire. It's like making a bus for people who only drive cars.

In Arkadia Droid, the player is tasked with supporting a small shuttle of survivors disconnected from a far-off space colony. Taken lightyears from their lost home in a deep-space wormhole and given the task of assembling a skeleton crew, you can customize and craft your experience to your liking to ensure that this diverse group of rag-tag space survivors lives despite all odds. As commander, expect to meet a whole host of procedurally generated aliens and interdimensional beings. Likewise, there's a rare chance you can meet a special human survivor with a gender you made. This unknown disaster defines the atmosphere, and how it FEELS to play Arkadia Droid. I'm making a roleplaying game, for people who like roleplaying games.

Delving deeper into the mechanical underbelly, we've supplied the player with the means to socialize with other crews that their friends command, assemble fleets, and trade in-game currency earned through production and winning space battles. You can capture territory and boost your income by building outposts on various strategically placed resource-laden planets. Apart of the productivity system, we've emphasized the diversity aspect of Arkadia Droid - at the very heart of everything we do - by mandating minority characters receive higher leadership positions. I am a game designer. I care about my game mechanics. Arkadia Droid has an interesting world. Looking at other strategy games like Frostpunk, we were shocked at the thought of a white, middle-class snow hell survivor barking orders at a downtrodden, mixed-mulatto sambo capeverdian, whose just trying to get extra cups of meat-gunk to feed to his 12, snow-blind handicapped workchildren. Cut out the racism and bigotry and give us good gameplay systems, we say. And that's what we'll keep saying through the development of Arkadia Droid. My game doesn't fix what's wrong with Magic the Gathering.

To cap off the player's wide arsenal of rich diversity-centered features, at the heart of the production line in the SAMBos, the central ship-computer, is a construction project that all the resources gained and spent by the player are focused around realizing. The SAMBos is an intelligent "Mulatto AI" designed by an ancient earth-government. The world of Arkadia Droid is very interesting. Using voice commands, you can assign a character to enter into a "communication-state" with SAMBos, locking them into a dialogue with the computer that takes three in-game days to complete. My games fits into the expansion format that Paradox Interactive does very well with. In the middle of each day, the player is prompted with a window and a page of text from SAMBos - rich dialogue is generated by a next-generation AI in real time, directly interactive, with real consequences directly stemming from the content of the conversation. SAMBos is a wild computer with no masters. Often greeting the player with its famous line "Wanna play?", the player can respond, with concern for the life of their shuttle-passengers, with two initial reactions, before the conversation enters into the territory of random-generation. This is the part people liked the best in playtesting. There is nothing wrong with popular games. We want to reference existing games. We want to reference 40K. Our game is different. Our game doesn't fix what is wrong with 40K.

If the player chooses to respond in the allotted time, about ten seconds, their chosen response can be either "I don't want to play.", the only way to exit the dialogue, or "Spit truth." which then prompts SAMBos to spit out thousands of lines of randomly-generated fucking twisted text. Random images for shock-value flash at intervals, but this feature can be turned off via the accessibility menu. If the player chooses to disable flashing images, the screen will slowly fade to a muted "dark-mode" color to avoid offending the eyes of the player. This twisted speech that SAMBos produces can shock the character you assigned to enter dialogue with it, often sending them into a murderous frenzy after released from the dialogue chamber. This "possessed" trait places that character directly into the hands of SAMBos. It's a good idea to lock off that room before the dialogue session ends! In my last run, about 48 of my passengers were ruthlessly gored by my new lathegender technobarbarian after SAMBos "spit truth" into his mind. After showing the game to many local tabletop shops, the visuals involved in this sequence wowed everyone. 

Art for SAMBos was contributed from multiple sources within the original Arkadia team. The talent is there, we just need the resources, some advice, and the work-hours. You can use my game and my ideas, but you don't have to use my art. But if you think this design is great, please let me know!

Moving on from the twisted horror of the shuttle's outspoken central computer, Arkadia Droid features an in-depth survival system. Scaling with each population member's unique skills and attributes, it's your job to ensure that each member of your shuttle keeps a healthy allotment of "pureblood" in their body. Pureblood is available in large quantities in each character - you'll have to decide how much Pureblood will be siphoned to fuel the ship. You, as the player, decide a healthy level to siphon from your shuttle denizens. One of the first buildings you create is a Fakeblood generator, which replaces the percentage of Pureblood emptied from each character, preventing chances of organ failure (all organs are rendered in 3D in each character's info tab). This is a great game. Organs directly align with the designs players make in their Custom Gender tab. Doodles from the Custom Gender tab are transformed into shapes, and given unique health values. 

Yeah, you can 100% customize your own cock and balls like in Cyberpunk. Because that was important and it at least 50% fixed what was wrong with Magic the Gathering. Most people that played games like Yugioh complained about not being able to change the size of their penis.

Again, thank you Daniel Grigorov. If you are interested in this idea, please get back to me. Also, fuck you.

Signed, Arkadia Droid Online Lite Creative Leader & Executive Director, CEO of Gaming Genius LLC & founder of Gaming Genius LLC & Primary Creative Director & Creative Executive, B-Team Leader & Photo-Doctoring Professional, Cum Sock

I knew what you were thinking Daniel Grigorov At Paradox Interactive dot com. You thought this guy,  Arkadia Droid Online Lite Creative Leader & Executive Director, CEO of Gaming Genius LLC & founder of Gaming Genius LLC & Primary Creative Director & Creative Executive, B-Team Leader & Photo-Doctoring Professional, is a Cum Sock.

Never heard something so rude from a publisher. Sorry for your loss.

Cum Sock

Fuck you daniel grigorov. Call me later.

Here's my daily vlog:

I can't believe Zen and Haruka ended their friendship over a Mario game that wasn't Mario Party. #Zarukaisover

If it helps, I can also show you my personal PC setup. This is where I operate my million dollar social media promotion gig for companies like Epic Games. Three companies have signed off on this resume, so please consider not making yourself look like a fucking fool. In other words, you literally cannot reject me for fear of losing your career and livelihood.

This was simply the natural progression of what I would do with my personal space after years of living in places that don't want me hanging my posters.

I think the chops will finally have to go for good. I've had problems with them drying out my face for several years now. Same with my hair, tbh. Gunna go full bald. Man, I love Zen and Haruka's relationship. It reminds me of a lot of some of my friendships growing up only more mushy. But I wish the best for them. It's cute. If only I could have that relationship with Paradox Interactive.

Didn't ever think about cum socks before I emailed you

Consider this email final. But please get back to me. Thank you.

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